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A Lion Assistant and the Negative Effects of Cotton Candy

Hey y’all! How’s it going? It feels like it’s been a while since I’ve posted. I missed doing a post last week, because Camp NaNo ate up all my time and also my brain was rather exhausted. So I’m trying to get back on schedule, and now that life is slowing down a bit I might try doing a post every Monday, instead of every other Monday. We’ll see how that goes.

Anyway, today I will be catching up on tags/awards…. All two of them.

First off, I was tagged recently for… *cue dramatic music*

The Imaginary Assistant Tag

Here’s how it works: Aberdeen the Authorosaurus, over at Dino’s Digest, is an honorary member of the author assistant society, and he has contacts who can hook me up with the perfect imaginary assistant. Sounds like a good deal to me. All I have to do is follow the rules and fill out the forum.

So here we go!

Rules:

1. Thank the person who tagged you and link back to their blog (assistants won’t work for ungrateful bosses). I don’t blame them one bit! Many thanks to Aberdeen and Mariposa!

2. Link back to the creator of the tag. Done. 🙂

3. Tag 5-10 bloggers who need assistants (and if they don’t need them, tag them anyway).

Please answer the following questions so the author assistant agency can find the right assistant for you:

1. What type of creature/species would you like your assistant to be (human, animal, dragon, dinosaur, figment of your imagination, etc.) and why?

A lion. Because lions are incroyable.

2. What do you want your assistant to look like?

Like this:

photo-1533161167560-e48f8fc55dd3

She’s a real lion. A real African lion.

3. What qualities are you looking for in an assistant (responsible, lovable, exasperating, etc.)?

She should be responsible for sure. Maybe a little but bossy, because, honestly, sometimes I just need someone to boss me around. But also loving and energetic.

4. What job(s) would your assistant be in charge of?

Helping me brainstorm, forcing me to drink water and stay hydrated, sharpening pencils, vacuuming up pencil shavings and eraser crumbs, finding reference photos for me, and helping me do research for my writing. 🙂

5. What would you like your assistant to be named?

Jasmine, for obvious reasons. 😉

6. What would you feed your assistant (candy, books, pickles, etc)?

Meat! And Purina Lion Chow.

7. How would you pay your assistant and what benefits would you offer as compensation for their work?

Well, I would feed her…. give her a place to sleep…. offer her a loving home…. draw a free sketch for her every month… let her roll around in the cornfield… (Except that we don’t have a cornfield, and I should probably stop making references to that movie now. XD )

8. What special abilities would you like your assistant to have (i.e. ice powers to freeze writer’s block, super strength to break writer’s block, or super stupidity to stare at you while you’re having writer’s block)?

Special powers? This is an option??

Okay, my brother came up with this. You have been warned.

Super acid drool that melts writer’s block…

That was actually for when I was considering a camel assistant…

9. Where would you like your assistant to be from (Jurassic Park, Narnia, your head)?

Pakadakadingdong.

*nods*

Or Africa. I mean, it doesn’t really matter.

10. Will you solemnly swear to you will not fire your assistant in either sickness or in health, for richer for poorer, smarter or stupider, writing or not writing, for as long as you both shall live?

giphy

 

Alright, I shall tag,

Noah Litle

Eden Anderson

Emma Star

Anna

and Mary

Here are the rules and questions:

1. Thank the person who tagged you and link back to their blog (assistants won’t work for ungrateful bosses).

2. Link back to the creator of the tag.

3. Tag 5-10 bloggers who need assistants (and if they don’t need them, tag them anyway).

Please answer the following questions so the author assistant agency can find the right assistant for you:

1. What type of creature/species would you like your assistant to be (human, animal, dragon, dinosaur, figment of your imagination, etc.) and why?

2. What do you want your assistant to look like?

3. What qualities are you looking for in an assistant (responsible, lovable, exasperating, etc.)?

4. What job(s) would your assistant be in charge of?

5. What would you like your assistant to be named?

6. What would you feed your assistant (candy, books, pickles, etc)?

7. How would you pay your assistant and what benefits would you offer as compensation for their work?

8. What special abilities would you like your assistant to have (i.e. ice powers to freeze writer’s block, super strength to break writer’s block, or super stupidity to stare at you while you’re having writer’s block)?

9. Where would you like your assistant to be from (Jurassic Park, Narnia, your head)?

10. Will you solemnly swear to you will not fire your assistant in either sickness or in health, for richer for poorer, smarter or stupider, writing or not writing, for as long as you both shall live?

Have fun, yall! As for me, I shall eagerly await the arrival (or not) of my new assistant.

Hopefully I won’t end up like the McCann brothers.

giphy

Next up….

The Versatile Blogger Award

Alright, let’s look at the rules.

1. Thank the person who nominated you and link to their blog. Thank you so very much, S.F. Dekreel! Check out her rad blog: Inky Ramblebeast

2. Share 7 facts about yourself. Heh heh…

3. Nominate 15 more bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award. 

Okay, this sounds pretty easy. Except for that bit about the 15 more bloggers.

Here are the facts:

1. I like experimenting with foods

I am not a picky eater at all. You can ask my brothers about this. They will testify to clementines with peanut butter, crackers with sharp cheese and raspberry jelly, the pizza omelette, the PB&J omelette… I think I must get it from my dad, who likes putting pepper on cantaloupe. But I for sure give two thumbs up to pineapple on pizza and in salsa, and cream cheese and pepper go on everything.

2. I was named after a song

The song is called *ahem* Chalice, by Phil Keaggy.

As a music lover, I think that’s pretty cool. 🙂

3. I was a wedding pianist once

Last year I was talking with one of my good friends who was getting married soon. We were just talking about her wedding plans and who was all going to be involved and everything. At one point I was joking and said, “Oh, you should let me be the DJ at your wedding!”

“Yeah! You could!” She agreed enthusiastically.

I quickly assuring her that I was indeed joking, and she said her mom was probably going to be picking out the music. And then she said, “But we do need someone to play piano for our ceremony.”

I laughed.

She was serious.

And that’s how I accidentally volunteered to be a wedding pianist. I’m not complaining though, I had fun doing it, and it was a good push for me to actually learn some songs all the way through.

4. If I’m talking to someone with a southern accent, I will always start talking in the same accent

I can’t help it! I guess I’m just embracing my southern roots. I have a friend from Texas whose accent isn’t very thick, but just really relaxed, and whenever I talk to her, we end up laughing because I start copying her accent.

5. I know how to do the time step

Once upon a time, I decided that I wanted to learn how to tap dance. (Correction: I’ve always wanted to learn how to tap dance.) So one day, I found a video that broke down how to do the time step. I actually put a bit of time into learning it, and I’m still not that great at doing it, but let me just say, it made doing the Roger Rabbit suddenly very easy.

6. When I was nine or ten I did an interview with my family on the negative effects of cotton candy.

It was quite the educational documentary. It even featured one of my beloved stuffed animals, who made a complaint that cotton candy caused her son to throw up on her carpet. I’m sure you wanted to know that. The video ends with my dad’s famous line:

“Well, the cotton’s GMO and the candy’s full of sugar.”

-Daddy

In case you can’t tell, I do not like cotton candy, and neither does my dad, apparently.

7. I feel slightly uncomfortable giving facts about myself

I don’t know, I’m just like, do people even care? I mean, I like reading facts about other people, but do other people like reading facts about me? Also, I’m afraid of coming off as bragging, or being like, “it’s all about me”, you know?

So, those are my facts. I guess I’m supposed to nominate 15 other bloggers now. Alright, I’m going to cheat a little here, because so many of the bloggers I follow have already been nominated.

So here’s what I’ll do, if you’re reading this post, and you haven’t received the Versatile Blogger Award yet, then you are officially nominated. 🙂 If you decide to do it, please let me know in the comments. I’d love to read your post!

Until next time…. peace out.

-Chalice

 

 

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6 Replies to “A Lion Assistant and the Negative Effects of Cotton Candy”

  1. I have contacted the author assistant agency and your assistant should be arriving shortly! 🙂🦁

    On another note, I immensely enjoyed reading your facts about yourself! (Btw, I’ll be sure to make a note not to give you an assistant who likes cotton candy 😉).

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Aww, I’m sure Jasmine will make an excellent assistant! 😊 She’s so beautiful.
    Also, is that documentary on the negative effects of cotton candy still available for viewing? Because I’m sure it would be highly amusing. 🤣 (And thanks for tagging me!)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Super fun post, by the way you really should post the video about cotton candy , it would be quite interesting, anyway… well… bye.

    Like

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